was not only the only pianist to accompany Douglas on stage and in the studio, he was also the best. Stefan's career as a musician took a serious knock when he took part in a strange experiment with Douglas and Crazy Bernie. A stage production called "The Walls Within". He had to play his piano while Douglas performed a selection of his depro songs. After each piece, Crazy Bernie held a lecture on the lyrics as seen from the psychoanalytical point of view. From those who actually turned up and paid to get in (some say it was as many as forty people), one third though it was great, one third wondered what the hell was going on and the other third burst into tears. Exactly the same thing was happening on-stage too.

was not only the only saxophonist to accompany Douglas on stage and in the studio, he was also also the best. Allan had a recording studio and he and Douglas spent years working on a CD of Douglas's songs. The CD was never made. Every time a song looked like being finished, there was an argument about who should play the cello. Nobody knew anybody who had a cello so all work on the song stopped immediately. Allan stormed off to make pizzas and Douglas sat at the mixing desk and twiddled the knobs and pushed some buttons and watched the blinky-blinky lights in the effects rack.

was the first to try to tighten the loose screws which have long since given up holding Douglas' head together. Crazy Bernie has the somewhat uncanny ability to look at you and past you at the same time. Crazy Bernie likes getting married and having children, his hobbies include extreme confrontation-batting and writing letters to the Dalai Lama. Douglas has helped assure the financial existence of a number of psychiatrists. At the last count it was seven psychoanalysts and one behavioural therapist. Not on the list is Uncle Bill, who is also a shrink. Uncle Bill saw what was coming and emigrated to canada before the shit hit the fan.